An Ode to Zagigi

“A gig is a gig is a gig is a gig is a gig is a gig.”

These are the words we repeated to ourselves in the grimy, cramped “dressing room” of a venue that shall not be named, playing a gig that shall not be named. We were tired, and knew full well that we were about to get on stage and play to an empty hall and then drive home and accept two belated metaphorical pennies thrown our way to “cover costs”. Bleak, I know.

What we didn’t know at the time however, is that by uttering those words, we were, in fact summoning a deity. A powerful, amorphous being with absolute power over the success of every gig that has been, and every gig that shall ever be.

A gig is a gig is a gig i Zagigi Zagigi Zagigi.

It was like magic. It was magic.

Moments before we got on stage, somehow a large crowd of people made their appearance. Certainly not fans; they had never heard of the name Bonk!. Why were they there? What unseen force compelled them to go out of their way to see this particular gig? We may never know.

But what we do know are the following empirical axioms:

Zagigi the magnificent presides over artists that are left with no other recourse but to accept underwhelming offers to play poorly organised shows.

Zagigi the omnipotent ensures your ongoing success at gigs, with unmatched organic rates of growth, skyrocketing share values, and a somewhat willing audience (T&C apply).

Zagigi the benevolent provides large quantities of pennies with which to buy food/other necessities.

And so, the next time that you are despairing about a sad gig that you must do, whisper the holy words - a gig is a gig is a gig - and take solace in the fact that Zagigi watches over you.